What Do You Really Want?

Starting to dance again

Issue #19

By Vivienne Arkell

What is it that’s stopping you from more sex? For most, the hardest thing is deciding what we actually want in our life and from our bodies. Personally, I crave companionship, connection and sexual pleasure. But what is it that you really want more of or think you are missing?

These days, with the ease of search engines, the hard part isn’t giving or finding answers. It’s framing the real questions! We are each unique, and the nuances for awakening, exciting and indulging in sex and sensuality are just as varied. If you are already enjoying the energy that a strong sex life brings, you might just click past and only read this week’s Teasers or Encounters. But if you are a bit stuck sexually, take my little quiz below.

Do you want more sex and intimate touching?
Yes, but we are busy and have other priorities.
Yes, but I’m not really into it anymore. Desire is missing.
Sure, but sex with the same person is boring.

– Do you love yourself?
I’m not so confident in my body.
My face and bod are decent and I have a strong mind, but I don’t indulge myself sensually.
Yes, I like to share my body mind and body with my partner.

– Do you make sexy time a priority in your life?
I would rather have pizza.
Finding a new partner is too much work.
We are both too busy.

– Are you unsure or numb about what your body can do?
I don’t orgasm easily or understand what the big deal is.
I have other interests, plus cycling and yoga are fun enough.
We are past hot sex, that’s for the young.

– Do you feel stuck in your head?
Yes, I overanalyze and am planning all the time.
I like to please my partner first. I don’t think about myself.
No, but I want to make sure sex will be perfect before I indulge.

– Do you have fear of being judged by cultural and sexual taboos?
I am a bit old-fashioned. Just not sure that I want to change or experiment.
I want to date younger men, but my friends don’t understand.
The man is supposed to make the advances. I don’t want to look too eager.

– Do you feel emotionally vulnerable and unable to open your heart?
I am reserved with sharing physical affection until I am sure of love.
People today are so selfish. My pets give me enough happiness.
We have to be careful and not flirt too much in today’s world of harassment.

– Would you rather turn on or off to the outside world and others?
The old days were better. Chivalry and neighborliness don’t exist today.
To turn the switch back on would be great. I did love dancing, flirting and necking.
I like to be around people who show warmth, happiness, and sensual aura.

Do your answers inspire you to open the doors to greater sensuality? To take time in your daily routine to reduce stress and prioritize some more playtime and dancing?

Embracing and accepting change and taking forward motion to get your body’s energy flowing again is quite freeing. Whether it’s lack of desire, fear of society and self expression, indecision on where to begin, or any of the above, there’s no time like now to break through your resistance. Why not cut loose and get these playful priorities realigned.

You work hard for everything you love and desire. Start feeling at full capacity again by starting your practice and the dance of daily sensuality.

Comments & Questions? Vivienne@thesensualogist.com


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