Choosing Your Partner Daily

Everyday magic through giving and thanks

Issue #40

By Vivienne Arkell

I admit it; I’ve been guilty of this too. I’m rushing and zooming around to get ready in time for the holidays – virtually overlooking life around us. And why do we feel grouchy or stressed? Because each good thing in love and life happens when you actually choose it, not when you just accept it. How often is it that we have a devoted partner or love interest, yet forget to demonstrate our feelings of gratitude?

With my ex-husband Bill, we definitely chose each other less and less as years went by. We stayed in the relationship but suffered, until we made the choice to end it. I wondered if I was I repeating this behavior again. Had I actually chosen a new partner or was I still waiting with ambivalence to be entertained, fawned over and rescued?

Choosing means focusing on the gifts our partner brings to our life. When we actually take the time to be grateful, we’ll see laughter, beauty, and playfulness, as well as sensuality and companionship. All these things are tiny details of the everyday magic that’s shared between two people. It’s amazing how this awareness of how blessed we are can be found in just a few minutes each day.

Our similarities get us together and sometimes that total acceptance makes us complacent. Celebrate little victories and good news. Does watching them shave make you smile? Do you love how they smell? Tell them. Do they love it when you rub their neck? Does home cooking make them happy? Do it! Focus on the individual moments of pleasure, rather than any insecurity or life’s stressful demands. A person that feels appreciated will always do more than expected and also reciprocate the giving.

Even If you are single, have you chosen to love yourself? Have you made the choice to be grateful and honor any of the interchangeable situations: chose friendship, happiness, dedication, healthy living, flow, or sensuality.

My cousin was in town for an extended visit, so extra reflection on giving flooded my weekend. Granted we are talking about the sensuous pleasure of food and drink here, but during this day one together we were just recipients dining together. On day two, I came home from a long day to find wine, cheese and bread laid out, and greeted with “How was your day cuzz?” With this tiny act of giving, we both chose to be participants in daily appreciation, sealing a bond and true connection that will last ages longer than a five-night stay.

Make this choice of giving into a daily routine. Choose your partner in the morning before you leave and again when you’re back together and protected. Smile, laugh, flatter and flirt. Strengthen your sensual bond through words and actions. Create magic between you, every day.


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