Sex isn’t just an activity – it’s an idea. Our ideas about sex are so complicated that we make the activity complicated. I’m here to make both your ideas and your sexual activity less complicated.
In his influential book Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex – and How to Get It, certified sex therapist and lecturer Marty Klein considers your mind, along with your relationship with yourself and your body, to be an integral part of understanding desire.
“The Sexual Intelligence approach involves changing your relationship with your sexuality, not simply getting your body to do better tricks. It’s far less about what you do and more about who you are – what you think, feel, believe, and want.”
“Sexual Intelligence is more than knowledge, more than patience. More than confidence, and more than liking your own body. It’s all of these, but it’s more.”
Considering intelligence to be a component in sensuality may seem novel, but information, knowledge, and curiosity are key in creating sensual, fun experiences.
In continuing the argument, Klein explains:
“‘Intelligence,’ of course, is a familiar and useful concept. It can be defined by ability: the ability to learn or to solve problems. It can be defined narrowly: as innate cognitive capacity or the facility for abstract thought. And it can be defined broadly: as the ability to understand different ways of learning and organizing information and to select the best one in a given situation.”
The Sensualogist’s inquiring mind and curious nature concur with Klein. Expose yourself to new experiences and new ways. Dimensions of sexuality – desires, fantasies, comfort level, risk-taking, orgasm, structures of sexual relationships – are different for everybody. But it’s this seeming complexity that Klein helps us breakdown and reconsider. He writes:
“Sex offers us a lot, including the chance to be close to someone; to give him or her gifts: to feel graceful, desired and attractive; to express ourselves, to feel special and known; to enjoy our bodies…”
Klein pushes us to free ourselves and question our current attitudes. Fresh approaches, new awareness, and comfort can unblock and lead to creativity and freedom.
Open up your mind to new ideas about sex and free your body to new pleasures.