Is Sex Really Worth the Effort?

Getting in touch with your sexual identity and desire

By Vivienne Arkell

Wow. Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence by Alexandra Katehakis and Tom Bliss is an amazingly comprehensive, inspiring book that focuses on living daily through and with our sexual self.

Almost any headline could have been chosen for this review, because whatever your doubt or searching might involve, many of the 365 daily topics will touch on it.

Alex’s and Tom’s tone and voice immediately comfort and elicit trust, as they pilot us on a journey of erotic and emotional discovery. As counselors, they have heard many tales. These daily reflections – or meditations as they call them – are presented to interconnect our soul, mind, and body to sexuality.

Our authors start out slowly, introducing vocabulary and concepts one concise yet expansive page at a time. Organizing our journey starting January 1 of a fresh year, Emotional Intimacy is presented on day 2. Awaken, one of The Sensualogist’s keywords, arrives on February 1. “Only that day dawns to which we are awake” by Henry David Thoreau is the quote Katehakis and Bliss chose to begin that page. After a nudge about sleepwalking, relationships and apathy, there are three motivational actions to ponder.

  • Think about your best sexual experiences with your partner and what made your sex life lively when you first met.

  • Reawaken your sexuality by sharing those memories and suggesting you try some of those things together again.

  • If you’re single, chose to awaken your day by paying close attention to every moment. Experience the sunrise, taste every bite of your food. Smell the air, notice details about your co-worker or others walking by. Awaken your experience of your sensuality.

Besides those pearls of wisdom and thought, some other personal favorites include Self Love, Vision, Dating, Objectification, Discovery and Erotic Intelligence. This topic, a.k.a. EI, is finally approached on October 22 when we most likely are sufficiently informed and ready to benefit. Whether the reader purchases this book for a loved one as a conversation starter, or for themselves for motivational reasons, every thought-provoking page is a gift of wise and profoundly modern insights.

The juxtapositions crafted by our authors complement each other like a pungent Taleggio cheese meeting a crisp, acidic Chardonnay, or any other virtually perfect food and beverage pairing for that matter. The topic of Meaning weaves gracefully into Lusciousness, Intension flows into Magic, and Holding Hands segues uncomfortably and purposefully into Pornography. Then Promiscuity shocks us into Sobriety, while Tantra taunts us before Quickies.

This guide provides total nourishment for the soul, making sex and sensual discovery an easy part of your daily life. Meditations add to your practice, giving more than just guidance and direction. These are truly aspirational thoughts to strengthen your sexual identity – concepts that enrich self-empathy and can be read again year after year.

To learn more about this book and other recommendations, visit the bookshop.




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