Dreamily reflecting on my favorite lovers, I relish the variety of seductions. More than a few still have me wondering, “Why the hell did I surrender so quickly? How was he able to wrap me around his finger so smoothly and effortlessly?” Or better yet, “How did I turn the tide and wrap him around me!”
Seduction, defined by the Cambridge Dictionary, is “the act of persuading a person to have sex with you.” While I rarely have needed coercion to get naked, I fully appreciate being enticed to do so. Sensualist lovers all know that seduction is the interpersonal elixir that gets our juices flowing and makes us brave and free.
Aside from the occasional quickie (when I have of course ‘buttered myself up’ prior to my sweetie’s arrival)
I always prefer some verbal warming up to start. Whether it’s a text saying how they can’t wait or what they have in mind, it always gets me revved and excited about the prospects. And ladies, if your date isn’t so inclined to reach out or is forgetful? Start the ball rolling yourself with a countdown hinting that you will be together soon, or a teaser about what you are going to be wearing. Is it your lovers favorite scent on your skin, sexy sandals or perhaps a playful hint about what you aren’t wearing under that slinky dress? Any of this flirting will enhance confidence in both of you, getting the body and anticipation flowing.
As the seducer, I also adore the nonverbal opening gaze and head tilt. Anything to be a tad coy and slow down the pace. How long will you make your lover wait before you say yes? Reviewing the many strategies of seduction, the best are often those where the overall aims and goals are not actually vocalized. There are so many unconscious mechanisms working together. You know the mind is said to be one of the biggest sex organs, right?
After a smooth mind connection is set, the body seduction can be incredibly easy. My ex Gary always managed to set his hand in dangerously close proximity to a prohibited or sensitive zone. He would greet me with only a brush of a kiss, while his hand arrived on the under part of my tush in the center, or wrapped around the far side of my bra, stealthily grazing my breast. Wow, he was such a tease. I would blush and pretend to scold him for touching me tormenting me this way in public, but he knew I would already be wet and waiting when he finally decided to ‘take me’ at home and ravish me.
It was usually the sneaky moves that would get me going the fastest, but any PDA generally worked. A soft nuzzle on the neck, just under the ear, is another excellent move if you want to be labeled a sensualist and not just interested in what’s between your prey’s legs. Kisses tell so much about what one is feeling and how you will treat and be treated during the naked time soon to follow.
Each sexual adventure has its own merits and deserves its own moves. The seduction phase of sex is about enticing every ounce out of every experience. If you rush things, you can miss some juicy parts. Seduction is best when deliberately slow. Tease, tempt and savor every moment of the opening act.
Extend your pleasure and enjoyment by practicing seduction and anticipation.
Image: Detail of photo by Anna Potter