Cherish Is the Word

Keep it alive and present with intimacy

Issue #42

By Vivienne Arkell

Cherish is a beautifully romantic idea that brings warm feelings just hearing the word. Loving thoughts of cherished times come to mind as families gather for the holidays. Yet the classic term cherish is most often associated with wedding vows and the iconic song “Cherish” permanently imbedded in the mind of anyone versed in 60’s American pop culture. Being of a certain age, with an older brother, I can still sing all the lyrics, written by Terry Kirkman. Here’s the beginning, from “Cherish” as performed by The Association.

“Cherish is the word I use to describe
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I had told you
You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could hold you
You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could
Mold you into someone who could
Cherish me as much as I cherish you

Perish is the word that more than applies
To the hope in my heart each time I realize
That I am not gonna be the one to share your dreams
That I am not gonna be the one to share your schemes
That I am not gonna be the one to share what
Seems to be the life that you could
Cherish as much as I do yours”

So what do these sad song lyrics have to do with cherish and sensuality? 

Did you ever stop to consider that cherish goes hand in hand with mutual love? At wedding ceremonies, couples say “to love and to cherish, to have and to hold.” Cherish doesn’t just exist on its own. Contrary to what this singer wants, just having her can’t exist on its own either. One needs to be both loved and held too for the union and bond to be completed.

Supposedly women want to be cherished while men want to feel needed. Wondering what my readers think about that statement. But is being cherished enough?

The principle definition of cherish on is “to protect and care for (someone) lovingly,” with the synonyms being adore, hold dear, be devoted to, revere, esteem, and admire. The example of the word used in a sentence is this: “He cared for me beyond measure and cherished me in his heart.” Can you start to understand where couples can be lead astray, believing in cherish only? Don’t most women want to be cherished in their lover’s arms and bed as well as in the heart?

The other definitions continue a downhill slide, making cherish, when used alone, into primarily a romantic fantasy. The number two meaning is “to hold dear” with the synonyms being treasure, prize, and value highly. Are cherished people trophies? The third and final definition is “to keep (as a hope or ambition) in one’s mind.” As our singer expresses, cherish is a feeling that he’s hiding inside. The cherished one here is trapped only in the mind as a dream or fantasy to cling to.

Cherish doesn’t maintain the same value when not coupled with genuine love and intimacy. Help you and your partner cherish each other – mind and body. Express the need for your partner both mentally and physically. Give yourself sensually. Cherish the sensuousness of this holiday season and your love.


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