Stronger When It’s Gone?

Issue #42

By Vivienne Arkell

“Why do you have to tell a sad story this week” lamented my bestie Anne.

She had a point. The holidays can be rough enough for us singles without me turning the theme cherish into a downer. But ya know? Even the famous song “Cherish” was basically melancholy.

It was pretty shitty when the marriage crumbled. Twenty years of Vivi being loyal and cherished, all down the drain over what? Vivi’s husband Bill was an authentic sensualist – much more so than Vivi in those days. He was definitely a man who appreciated touch, taste, excess, hugs, and kisses. He generally lived in the present, with barely a dollar in his pocket the morning of payday. Generous as they come, you could find him gifting friends and Vivi with lavish dinners and drink.

Bill certainly cherished Vivi, though in wasn’t apparent from certain actions. He wanted it all to be the most amazing modern romance. Everything in its place he would say. He held Vivi in esteem as she was his beautiful, successful prize. As a writer, Bill was supposedly a master of words. But did his meaning of cherish match hers? It didn’t matter anyway. Words weren’t what Vivi needed.

“Vivi, aren’t you being a bit harsh on the guy?” interjected Anne mid rant.

“I wasn’t so wise back then” said Vivi, her voice quietly trailing off. “He had me on a pedestal telling all his friends how great I was. It’s like I was a glass trophy on a shelf… but all I felt was rejection. He treated me with affection, but his passion for new naked adventures with me had totally disappeared.”

At that point in time, Vivi just wanted to be desired as a woman. She knew she was doing well at work, but in the home and the bedroom? Forty was a tough age to reach and she needed assurance that Bill still had the hots for her. For years, Bill revered and admired her, but not in a way Vivi understood or needed.

“So do you appreciate being cherished now, even though Bill has moved away?” Anne asked after Vivi’s tears had passed.

“Ya know Anne, being cherished is a beautiful thing. But I think cherishing someone is strongest when our lover is gone. We hold on, we cling, and in our mind we view the past in a glowing light –still admiring and adoring that love shared. I cherish memories, but I also cherish new memories and possibilities – nurturing hopes, dreams and desire for more sharing, caring, love and love making.”

“Amen” said Anne, and the two lifted their glasses to a fabulous New Year.


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