Welcoming Mars and Venus

Finding balance between needed polarities

Issue #52

By Vivienne Arkell

Hot dog meets bun, Yin-Yang, men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

These are all things that exist on their own but are better together sharing the universe. With few exceptions, the world loves binaries: hot-cold, male-female, mind-body, good-bad. Some see binary or polarity’s positive-negative as implying only divisiveness and opposition. Yet I urge fellow sensualists to feel the emotional love, beauty and nuance in juggling these pairings.

Binary opposition of course refers to terms or concepts that are opposite in meaning. These oppositions are said to be fundamental in organizing human philosophy, culture, and language; they help give society structure. Proponents of this theory suggest that choosing either right or left gives us the illusion that a problem has been solved. Most likely that’s why we often say ‘grey areas’ confuse us. But having choices and embracing situations where we have two seemingly opposite or contradictory tendencies, opinions, or aspects is actually good for us!

· Each makes us appreciate the other.  Paired opposites, like most human couples, rely upon a relationship between them. Could we understand good if we didn’t have evil and bad; discord if we didn’t have peace and harmony? Emotions need to run hot and cold for us to feel their depth inside us. Would you ever want to stay consistently lukewarm? Embodiment teachings ask us to reach deep and actually feel pain so that we can fully appreciate its opposite­ – extreme pleasure. Without pain of many types, pleasure cannot exist. And doesn’t the extreme joy of love help us endure the sorrow it might bring?

· Neither is the right or wrong way to live. While we often enjoy a good conflict, in matters of sex and sensuality, oppositions aren’t there to be analyzed and criticized. Would you want to choose which is right or wrong between everyday boredom or sensual eroticism? Would you rather be considered the virgin Madonna or a whore? When right or wrong are the only options our senses shut down. And what does female embodiment teach us? Call up feminine flow, intuition and emotions over mental judgments. As sensualists, we value experiencing as much as evaluating. Using our inner senses and noting these extremes actually helps us find and create somatic balance.

· Consider the antithesis of polarity. What if we lived in a homogenized world without theoretical opposites? Neutral, emotionless, formulaic, robotic. Don’t look for opposites as only opposition. See the sensual degrees of separation and feel out your personal, flexible, middle ground. Take sides if you wish, but also allow others to find their own balance on the see-saw of life.

When you think you want only pleasure, sweet things, or beauty, remember: to truly experience life you need to feel the full spectrum of emotions and experiences. Relish dichotomy, extremes and polarities in life. Explore planetary differences, enjoying nature’s flow of coming together and moving apart.


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