Women need caressing. Touching sensitizes our body, moving energy away from our mind and down the neck, breasts, and abdomen to lower parts. Expressed beautifully by Chia and Abrams in The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know.

“This slow movement of energy down her body is also why a woman tends to need more foreplay and time spent caressing and coaxing her energy away from distracting thoughts and emotions and into her genitals.”

Everyone in a rush these days? When we meet up or find time to get naked, often it’s just ‘go.’ Men are of course genitally focused and women are generally people pleasers.

So be reminded about sensuality vs. just sex. Think about what gets us worked up in the first place. Chia and Abrams outline the stages as desire, hunger, arousal, and reward. For today, the focus is AROUSAL, specifically touch. Get in touch with touching. The first move to making it real is sensual touch.

Do you get stuck in your head? Or need to get outta your head? It’s physically true. Sensitizing our bodies to touch or being touched takes exploration. Chia and Abrams suggest that the first steps to being a sensual woman is trying things on your own body.

 “To enhance your experience: Imagine energy flowing through your fingers into the body. Imagine the hands touching you are not your hands. Take a few deep breaths and start very slowly. Remember, 30-60 minutes.”

Paraphrased from Chia and Abrams’ extensive instructions:

“Relax in a comfortable, private environment and undress completely.

Breathe deeply and slowly.

Caress your hair, face and ears.

Move your hands down your neck, arms, and fingers.

Hold your breasts and tease your nipples.

Stroke your buttocks and thighs, feeling the weight and curves.

Touch the arch of your foot and massage your toes.

Slide your hands slowly back up your legs and inner thighs. Stroke your pubic triangle.

Can you stop here? Hopefully it’s difficult to stop.”

Once you have mastered your own body, it will be natural to respond to another’s touch. And natural when it’s time for you to give back the gift of sensual touch. Chia and Abrams remind us that:

“Touch is important biochemically and energetically. The release of oxytocin that occurs when you touch each other will increase your affection and your bonding with each other”

Make the evening all about just being naked together with touch, fondling and purrs. Evenings and hours when only touch is allowed are…