The Art of Kissing

Kerner’s quotes start both scientifically and poetically, like the kiss itself

By Vivienne Arkell

A kiss is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

A kiss is a unique and versatile expression of the soul. As the famous poet Shelley wrote, “Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.”

In the amazing book, She Comes First by Ian Kerner, the kiss is carefully and specifically analyzed, dissected and explained.

All senses are engaged in the perfect first kiss. Most likely there has been some verbal foreplay and flirting. The mind is creating its own erotic story.

“Approach the first kiss as an event, as though tasting the first sip of an expensive bottle of wine that you have been saving for a special occasion. Breathe, sniff, savor, admire the body, note the complexion and tone… Allow yourself to appreciate the full experience.”

The sense of smell is also engaged. The moistness of the skin with nervous perspiration combines with creams, perfumes, and shampoos that are meant to entice. The scent of what you both have been eating and drinking. Also imagine what the first touch will be like. How lips will meet lips and tongues meet tongues.

“Like language itself, there is virtually no emotion that cannot be expressed with a kiss… A kiss can be playful, patient, and coy; or ravenous, forceful, and violent.”

The kissing style can be sexy, improvisational, varied. It can be free-formed or structured. It will inform your partner what you are looking for or how you are willing to meet half way.

It can take multiple dates to arrive at a mutual understanding of pleasure. Kisses and touching are like a practice field of pitching and catching, strong vs. gentle, squeamish or adventurous. These first impressions often set the groundwork for other pleasures and kisses between unclothed bodies.

Kerner’s quotes, mainly from page 186, have actually been leading us through the perfect approach to oral pleasure of the vulva. There is no reason the same attention shouldn’t be practiced on the upper lips before you encourage your lover to allow seduction of the lower lips.

Kerner’s book and approach are magic, whatever person or part you are kissing.

To learn more about this book and other recommendations, visit the bookshop.


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