Turn Ons that Please You Both

Keeping your daily flirt on

By Vivienne Arkell

Feeling sexually attractive is essential to exciting sex. Flirting instills this feeling – after all, that’s probably how you became increasingly attracted to your mate in the first place. Flirting is a way to say “I feel alive sexually – especially with you.”

Dr. Lonnie Barbach, Ph.D. first put these words to paper in 1998 for her book Turn Ons, Pleasing Yourself While You Please your Lover. But they still resonate, maybe even more today as so much of courtship is often done via texting and online dating.

Impossible to see or feel the body language and intonation while texting, typed words can often take on strange and unusual meanings. So when meeting in person, it’s time to work the ancient art that we often have little practice at – flirting! So sharing Lonnie’s classic reminders are golden. From Barbach’s book:

#1 “Tell your partner how good he or she looks to you.”

#2  “Sensuously and surreptitiously stroke your partner’s backside.” [forearm, hands, hair, neck.]

#3  “Give your partner a goodbye kiss he or she won’t forget.”

#4  “In a sexy voice, ask your partner if he or she is busy after dinner.”

The Sensualogist adds #5 and #6

#5  Wear a casual short robe or loose shorts around the house to stay squeezable and fresh.

#6  Make flirtation a daily occurrence.

All of these are undeniably basic and obvious, right? Yet do we engage?

Even when you are tired or stressed, Barbach’s book is sure to remind and entice you to keep your daily flirt on. It’s pocket size too, making it a gal’s or guy’s best friend. ; )

To learn more about this book and other recommendations, visit the bookshop.




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