Living and Loving with No Endgame

Romance explored in sensual mode

Issue #16

By Vivienne Arkell

331 days passed before today. Mark is back in my life again, which is a wonderful and delightful surprise. As the door to my apartment opens, everything whirs but time stands still.

The compliments start, and his list of my attributes seem endless. I tell him how much I love his beautiful mind, intensity, and expressive blue eyes, plus how I can’t get enough of him. Our clothes come off and we expose ourselves wholly to each other. The fondling, the kisses, the grins and the stories unfold, all piling up on each other in a rush to catch up. One activity flows into another. There is never a plan.

When we want to f*ck, we do. Most of our time together we spend naked and connected. Whether we want to cook or order in, we make it happen. If we feel like a walk we just open the door and start aimlessly, even at 2 am. We live in a city that never sleeps and during our day and evening together, neither do we.

When Mark is in me, nothing else matters. Time stops and there is no past and no future. This afternoon, his penis gets soft before he comes a second time, yet we stay hooked together like crazy lovebugs till it gets firm again. When he holds the sides of my face, and looks into my eyes, I feel his sex growing big and hard. He is deep in me and sees deep into me. Big blue lakes of freedom, love, and abandon. When he arrived, Mark paddled and whirled in the waters. Now he accepts being dropped in this lake with no visible shoreline. We are wholly together as if floating in a pool, unaware that any safety of a shoreline is missing. Magic and invisible things happen between us during it all. He is the captain of our adventure, even though we don’t know where we are sailing.

There is no real plan for the sleepover, besides Mark not leaving the city till tomorrow. There is no endgame for our sexploits. We spend lots of time entwined because that’s how we feel most free. We start, we pause, we talk, we kiss, we cum, we talk, we eat, we shower. We snuggle and squish our bodies together. There is no label on our friendship and while we share projects and milestones, they don’t have dates attached to them. Such dreamers we are. The energy is contagious and we craft diabolical plans as sleepiness escapes us.

I think to myself, what if we could always push beyond old habits and rules to not be so outcome driven – acting without knowing or having an endgame. I don’t dare say this out loud, for fear it will jinx us. Besides Mark just assumes that’s how we have always been and will always be.

In the time I have known him, I have grown to adopt this amazing vibe at least five days out of seven, even with my deadline driven clients. It’s an extended version of living in the moment, combined with my mantra to savor and live sensually.

Floating in a magic pool, flowing with the universe, continuing this voyage. I love my life and am glad you are back in it, Mark. Time goes on, with love and exploration as the only endgame.


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