Making Sex a Guilty Pleasure

Accepting lust with love

Issue #22

By Vivienne Arkell

Isn’t it fun doing things you aren’t supposed to do? That tiny pang of guilt about being ‘found out’ or caught. Remember being a teen and sneaking a drink from the liquor cabinet, watching an R-Rated show or letting a boy touch your breasts? Remember how energized you felt during that total desire for the forbidden?

Whether naughty, fattening or expensive, guilty cravings are fun. Feel the tingle surging through your body while violating some self-imposed moral code or standard. Whether lusting for a gorgeous plate of nachos or being extra eager and hungry for a sexy rendezvous: is either one of these truly sinful? If it doesn’t hurt someone else, why do we still worry? Don’t you recall how powerful you felt when you bent the rules and things still turned out great?

We have come a long way towards accepting that a woman’s sexuality no longer needs to remain passive and bottled up. Why should women stay ladylike in private and leave men to have all the erotic fun? Push aside that fear and long history of good-girls-don’t. Lusty cravings show we are truly embodied woman, fully alive.

Here’s another piece of raw truth. While women most often focus on being desirable, we rarely focus on our own desires. It’s almost like just being desired is orgasm enough for some women.

We often allow ourselves wickedly selfish and indulgent cravings like extra chocolates and new handbags, so why not add naughty naked time to nourish your temple. Make it a new guilty pleasure to shut out the noise and take a daily time-out. Turn off the part of your mind that keeps you overly focused on others plus a million moral and social obligations. Flip the switch, literally, to think only of yourself and your lusty thoughts.

Let sheer lust win over preconceived notions and values. The idea of lust often involves a deep desire for the forbidden. But how can lust be considered a bad thing, when it gives you such power for making your own decisions about what you can and can’t do in private or with a lover? Both partners need moments of selfishness and self-absorption to achieve sexual ecstasy.

Accept and embrace pure lust. Retune your body and add a new switch. Turn on that faucet of sexual passion. Let the unruly thoughts flow. Maybe flip the coin on good-girls-don’t and turn it into a bad girl erotic fantasy during pleasure time?

It’s all about your mind’s relationship with your body. Lust is often regarded as pure selfishness, and you deserve it! What’s wrong with some guilty pleasure? Take a time out and turn on your sensual, erotic self. Make lusty sex your new box of chocolates.

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