Most of us think too much and feel too little. Distracted by work, children, multitasking, aging and often a vanishing libido, our minds are so detached from the body that we can be oblivious to the impulses our body might actually, secretly, be feeling and trying to communicate.
So turn off your brain to distractions and turn on your body! Renew sensual and erotic vitality by immersing yourself in body awareness training. Like the Pavlovian method, sensual training encourages you through repetition. You’ll be working towards reflexive, almost automatic types of responses, where a stimulus acquires the capacity to evoke the exciting response that was originally evoked. Consider the four steps below to start your practice and condition your body to again recognize and desire sensual pleasures, almost on cue.
– Breathe deep and relax. Mobilize your innate capabilities for sensation and pleasure. At the heart of any practice is an undistracted mind and concentration on the sweet slowness of calm and pleasure. Lie on your back in a private comfortable space and breath. Inhale through your nose for three to five seconds, letting the air go deep in your lungs and all the way into your abdomen. After you feel the air deep in your body and lungs, exhale slowly through your mouth. Continue deep breathing for a minute or until you feel relaxed, calm, and in a meditative state.
– Utilize all your senses and receptors. To become more physically aware of sensations in your body, you will want to develop a curiosity utilizing all senses. Practice tuning into different sensations – note the warmth of your breath, hear the sounds in the room and feelings within your body. Sex researcher and theorist Dr. Lori Brotto has a wonderful immersion technique. She instructs participants to place raisins in their mouths and “notice where the tongue is, notice the saliva building up in your mouth… notice the trajectory of the flavor as it bursts forth, the flood of saliva, how the flavor changes from your body’s chemistry.” Start your own dialog to recall these sensations. Try this with an ice cube and feel the changes throughout. Experiment.
– Uncover your erogenous zones. Now that you are enjoying increased body sensitivity, cultivate an accepting attitude towards touching your breasts and V-zone. Stay curious and in the moment. Discover new ways to excite yourself, focusing on your own personal erogenous zones. If you would like some guidance on how and where, Red Hot Touch and The Multi-Orgasmic Couple are great handbooks for inspiration. Feel tuned into your body and savor things for your own enjoyment only. After a few weeks of practice, you should be able to tune out all distracting thoughts and concentrate on your body’s responses to sexual stimulation. Once you start to achieve arousal and orgasm, your new awareness and acceptance of your own sexual feelings will excite.
– Awareness, repetition, and practice. Stay in touch with the nuances of your own personal sensations and the sensual and sexual responses they elicit. This new skill of fully attending to your sensations is an essential element of your sexual arousal. Be aware of the exciting changes in your body. Stay focused, whether alone or with a partner.
Daily living in this positive sensual mode will also make non-sexual experiences more enjoyable. Even the simple act of taking a shower: savoring the temperature, humidity, and feeling rain drops can bring sensual excitement to mind. Within your practice of sensuality, immersing yourself in body awareness and sensations can make sexual arousal a natural reflex – making way for greater confidence, freedom, connection and intimacy during partner sex.
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