You know about personal, internal attractiveness – that unique vibe within each of us? Well, playful sensuality routinely inhabits my person, making me feel incredibly luscious. This vibe obviously adds fuel to the rowdy male impulse. If I get playful or daring with a man, his carnal instincts are super quick to surface. All it takes is a subtle touch on the arm, a squeeze of his fingers, a wink or even a verbal taunt, and the conquering caveman instinct starts to surge, driving everyone wilder.
This time, Antonio was my caveman IRL.
” Vivi” Anne swooned over the photos. “It’s Chad Everett!”
I didn’t see it at first but Anne was right. The 6’4” European stud looked like the TV doctor from the 80’s.
“Holy shit!” I texted Anne after our date. “His eyes were shades of blue as the pools in Sardinia, just like the man in the Armani cologne ads. I might have found the sophisticated hunk of my dreams!” I ranted.
Antonio and I spoke in Italian for half the evening, bringing back memories of my travels. Conversing with ease, we had shared tales of worldwide travels, food, and cultures. His passion for the good life was limitless.
This interaction and companionship built affection between us. But could Antonio let loose and experience delight collaborating with our bodies instead of just our minds? Our time between the sheets felt like workers in a meeting, rather than lovers delighting in joyful play with our naked bodies. We so needed playtime.
The idea of Antonio made me feel outrageously mischievous. His compliments and my confidence sparked curiosity and playfulness. I was vibing a few decibels above him, yet toned it down hoping he could get comfy and warmed up. I hinted about lovemaking also being play. How could such a hunk be so disconnected from sensuality? Was the engineering of bridges more inspiring to him than female response?
I so wanted us to revel in the spirit of play, exploring and discovering new pleasures. Might that have been impossible in the competitive world in which he was raised, full of power trips? He had totally jumped into adulthood taking on responsibilities at an early age and moving around a lot as a child.
I needed us to relive childhood fantasies and bring an exciting, fun attitude to the bedroom – a light hearted and free-spirited freedom. Were his desires all material, tangible and concrete? Seemingly, he had never wanted to escape and float in dreams to enjoy the imaginary or other fantasies.
I desired laughter, tickling, stroking, teasing and giggling. Pillow play that moved into petting and stroking of a more sensual kind. I began to sense that this gorgeous creature was not capable of sensual play. Achievement had conditioned him to search for performance rather than pleasure and folly. Would authentic touch ever be a reality? Messy, playful, adventurer would never be descriptive words he would agree to.
The play light never shone for us. It just never materialized. Anne reminded me of the unfortunate truth. “You never bond with this type Vivi. Imperfect exteriors with mischievous eyes are better for you. Plus, perhaps someone who has been on a playground before, ya know?”
Image credit: Photo by Clem Onojeghuo