The Playtime Vibe

Easy, exuberant sensuality

Issue #31

By Vivienne Arkell

Do you ever wonder why we take sex so seriously? Don’t you wish you could just jump in, laugh and splash freely like these three are doing? No script, no routine, just doing whatever feels good, pleasurable and free. 

Like a classic kid’s play date with clothed friends, no one worries about how many cannonballs into the water, how high you will climb on the dirt pile, or when you have to go home. Everyone involved is just laughing, exploring the options, and making the most of every moment. Flash back for a moment to the frisky teenage activity of dry-humping. Can necking make a comeback? Usually played out on the couch, there was always a spirit of discovery and adventure. The guys may have had a plan, but the gals were usually in it for pure fun.

So what is an easy, playtime vibe? It’s the opposite of serious. Add to the spectrum of experiences between an eye stare and climax. How many times in a row can the same thing happen before it seems like a movie set, staged and not the real deal? For me the build-up and film have to have ongoing adventure, novelty, delight, discovery, surprise and laughter. Certainly I respect the multitude of sexual styles and moments. They all have special places and memories in our lives: playful sex, mindful sex, ecstatic sex, love-making, comfort sex, tantric, casual, kink, the list goes on and on. But for me, playful love-making is the most exhilarating and free.

How do you set naked playtime in action? When predictability, routine, and monotony creep in, throw out the rulebook and the script. Play easily breaks up the patterns. I adore bringing mischief and chase to the playground. For some people it’s a way of life and easy to embrace the inner child mindset. Give yourself permission for silliness. Remember the definition of play. It’s free-form, experimental, goofing off with no overthinking of anything.

When one is creative and confident in their sexuality, in the excite or indulge phases of their sensual practice, most playfulness comes naturally. It’s more a vibe than actual game playing. If you aren’t there yet or want extra inspiration? Sensation play and erotic touch games can lighten the mood and engage your partner’s curiosity.

An excellent touch game, coined hot and cold, involves playing with ice cubes or warmth in your mouth, while exploring nipples, genitals and body parts. Another sensual play activity, involving enduring a three-minute tease with varying intensity, elicits giggles as well as moans. Massages are also easily playful when slippery lubricants are added. Enjoy yourself as well as your lover’s touch. See new pathways. Break routine. Revel in playfulness.

Make up your own games. Anything except for overly goal-oriented activities lightens the mood and adds laughter and freedom. Pillow fights, tickling and wrestling create intimacy when combined with a serious love making session.

The key words in play are adventure and exploration. Achieve deeper intimacy and emotional connection with no planned outcome – just pleasurable sensations. Dive in, splash around. Lighten up bae, and embrace the playtime vibe.

Image credit: Photo by Angelo Pantazis


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