Own Your Fantasies

Take the leap from fantasy to reality?

Issue #34

By Vivienne Arkell

It really is that simple. You want more exciting sex? Linger a minute and explore your memories. Think back to what really turns you on and explore what those fantasies are telling you. We know who inspires my Facebook friend Amanda. When she posted ‘which drink – which stud’ all hell broke loose and we gal pals were grinning and howling online together. All of us have dream lovers in mind and dream experiences. Start visualizing!

Casting your new, perfect lover is a great way to start. Is your dream date is that notorious bad boy, a voluptuous heroine or rescuer in uniform? Maybe an exotic, dark skinned god? When your eyes are closed and you are together, feel the primal longing and urges. You are a sexual goddess and all your lover wants is you. You are validated, beautiful and lusted after.

Next, set the scene and script. Imagine a situation you would like to recreate. Have you done it before but with a different partner, or seen it that way in a film? While focusing on your favorite steamy images and stories, stay inspired, sexually open and expressive. When you are in your fantasy environment, all senses are enhanced. Savor the erotic perfume of a wet V or visualize a firm phallus. Are you captive in a dangerous setting, impersonating a high-class escort, or acting out taboo aggressions or group sex? You are allowed to think about doing something you would never even actually do. Be out of control or totally in control. These are your fantasies after all. Anything goes!

Now it’s time to create the mood and emotions. Push the boundaries even further. There are no rules, so let loose of any inhibitions. Move forward and start creatively rehearsing new possibilities and combinations. Indulging in your sexual curiosity is a great way to add heat with your current partner and keep boredom away. Hot sex often requires channeling animalistic, aggressive impulses while temporarily shelving tender, loving emotions. Sometimes the scene might call for worshipping and idealizing our partner, other times we might want to objectify and dominate them. Visualizing sexy escapes helps break routines and fulfills unmet needs for novelty.

Having written your own erotic movie, you know yourself intimately. Some scenarios are in the realm of the unthinkable and will stay in your mind to be used only by you. But maybe it’s time to satisfy that curiosity by acting on some impulses and temptations? By allowing mental exploration instead of fighting fantasies or going outside of the relationship, you’ve most likely gained insights you can then share with your lover. You don’t need to bring up exact details, but perhaps explore what these moods and emotions represent?

Hopefully your lover has an open mind towards rehearsing some scenes with you. When used as a tool with your partner, why not co-create your fantasies. Deeper relations can blossom by sharing reciprocal fantasies, building on themes and learning from each other afterwards.

Most of us have fantasies that we wish were part of our sexual reality, yet few of us have shared these desires with our partners, let alone acted on them. Bringing your imagination to the bedroom with your current partner or another fresh, young lover, will inspire long-term erotic passion. Take the leap and live your fantasy movie. Make hotness a reality.


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